accidental flares of love burst through the atmosphere

Born at the Right Time

IMG_7247My world has been peaceful lately. I flew home at the beginning of September and spent a few much-needed days with my family, and even though I've been back for a while I still feel just as relaxed. That's nice. And very unusual. Also, somehow, I lived in Western NY for 21 years without even knowing that Rock City existed. It's a forest growing on top of a maze system of gigantic rocks. And it's REALLY fucking cool.

IMG_7207IMG_7309 IMG_7280 Over the weekend Pep and I wandered over to Angeles National Forest to camp and explore and get away from the city. It wasn't as green and lush as Franklinville, but the air smelled the same and we curled up and slept under a sky full of stars that my camera didn't want to focus on no matter what I did, so there are no Milky Way photos to show you from that (is it possible for manual focus to be broken if auto focus still works...?). But there was a point when we realized that the Big Dipper was perfectly framed by the trees. And there were some shooting stars. And no bears.

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I used to really get lost in stream-of-consciousness kind of blog posts, where I'd pour my soul out and feel better once I left my computer. My writing is much better in older posts and blogs. Sometimes I'd post twice per day because it was a foster home for a thought, and my mind was always filled with strays. I wonder when that went away? Maybe I just have nothing to say when I'm happy. I am so happy. Part of me wants to apologize for saying it again and again, but what a silly thing to feel bad for.

Human relationships of all sorts are difficult for me. I know where my faults lie when it comes to friendships and relationships, and usually, unless a person is very, very suited to me, I won't do any maintenance at all. I am not a question-asker, I am not a checker-upper, I am not a card-sender (nor am I a good cook or an athlete of any sort or a good babysitter or a rum-drinker, while I'm at it). I don't invest time learning about things that other people like. But, when I click with someone, those qualities magically start to show up because they don't feel like maintenance, they just feel like fun.

I'm dating my coworker.  Last week I showed him some of the sketches I made earlier this year that were about him. I was half-expecting a look of terror to cross his face at some point but instead they were met with a smile and I felt so relieved. I told him it must be tiring to date anyone that creates things in any artistic capacity. I have many sketchbooks painted with the runoff of relationships, and the pages end up online or in the hands of strangers and I'm really very careless about who sees what. They're vague but they're still available to everyone, and I want to apologize in case I ever cause anyone any hurt. It's never my intention.

I don't have much else to say, I just felt like I had to say something. I'll finish with a mess of unlabeled photos from 3 different places and let everyone try to guess where everything was from.

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I'm riding down your moonlight mile