I feel like the sky. 66 and partly sunny, breezy afternoons, nights that ask for a blanket or someone's arms.
I am sitting in my bedroom, putting off cleaning for the 7th day in a row because I'd rather melt into my bed and drown in my own joy.
I am sitting on a bus, letting a girl my age fall asleep on me because I know I'm safe, but am not sure about the man on her other side. She's tired, and has caught me on a day when I've read too many infuriating stories about the lack of respect for women. I feel the need to support her in the only way I can - by letting her lean to her right instead of her left. I'm very selectively willing to offer my shoulder to others, but today I have a hundred to give.
I am sitting with you on an overlook, on a little mountain, at the top of a city - silently, because we can sit silently - trying to contain all this love I have for you and everyone else and all these wonderful things in my life. I am quiet because the moment is quiet, but there are plenty of things I want to yell from the top of that mountain.
I am lying with you in bed in my underwear, laughing at Tina Belcher's anxious groan and finishing my second glass of wine.
I am sitting across from you on an unfathomably perfect date at Pace in Laurel Canyon - an incredible dinner overlooking Jim Morrison & Pamela Courson's Love Street House. You stop mid-conversation, as we both draw on the table with crayons, to tell me that I am fucking gorgeous and I take one second to try and think of what I did to deserve you but come up empty-handed.
I am sitting in my chair at work, suddenly feeling like I can fight battles and win them. Recently something has snapped in me and I've remembered that I love to put up a fight, so why not start fighting? I am relentlessly aggressive when I don't like something. I am endlessly pushy if I see how something could be improved or be made more efficient and organized. I'm rough around the edges and I don't handle things in the most tactful way, but I've fallen in love with the idea that I can help make something better.
I keep going back and forth about turning this blog into something other than my own internal dialogue. I took one baby step in that direction and installed an SEO plugin (lol), but it requires me to use a Focus Keyword and my writing is too all-over-the-place to ever do that. The only way it would be useful is if I started posting about topics. Who EVEN wants to post about TOPICS? I only want to post about what I feel. I look at the kind of blogs that are so popular now and I'm not much like them; my taste is different and my sense of humor is darker and there are plenty of things that could set me apart if I wanted to develop this into something more. But do I care enough to stick with it? Doubtful.
This is unrelated, but I've stumbled upon a few brilliant posts from other bloggers lately that I want to share:
The Importance of Being Naked on Awash With Wonder, What Women Really Want on Metamorphocity, I am an Artist I am not a Designer on ComaDiary, and then basically everything Jessica ever posts, because she's amazing and her baby is the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. K bye