accidental flares of love burst through the atmosphere

You: Part 2

Recently I posted this introduction to this little project I'm doing, last week I posted Number 1, and today I'm gonna dive into Number 2. I've always thought that each time I fall in love, I get closer and closer to The Real Deal. Meaning, the love gets deeper and closer to being something I could spend the rest of my life with. I learn from it, I realize things I like and things I don't, etc. It makes sense.

I met 2 in college. We became very close very quickly at an unfortunate time: a month before the end of his last semester at this particular school. 2 had a girlfriend at the time - he wasn't happy with her, but he still had a girlfriend. We wrote each other letters before we said goodbye, and my memory is hazy but I think I told him I loved him in my letter. The night he left, I cried for hours at my desk in my dorm room (a lot of these songs are from that night because I remember it so well), until my phone rang and I heard his voice on the other end. He said, "I love you, and I am falling in love with you." He broke up with the girlfriend and everything ran smoothly until he suddenly reunited with her, causing quite the heartbreak in Hannaland. Two years passed before they broke up for good. He promptly began talking to me again, and I let him, with the assumption that nothing would ever come of it. He surprised me one night and showed up to a bar I was at; he had planned it. It was the first time I had seen him since he left school. We dated for a month or two and then ended it mutually. It was the easiest breakup I've ever had - one phone call and practically no hurt whatsoever. We still get along great. I spent a long time loving him, but strangely enough, it was all before we actually dated. By the time we came back for each other, we had both changed.

What I gained: 2 was the first person that I ever loved so much that I felt like I could fly. I'm glad I've always been a blogging whizkid haha, because I enjoy re-reading posts from this particular section of my life. Even with the hurt. From this particular love, I gained a point of reference. He is not who I've loved the longest or the most, but I still find myself comparing how I feel with other people to how I felt with him. It was something special.

What I lost: I lost a bit of direction on my moral compass. I got a fortune cookie while all this was happening that said, "Do not mistake temptation for opportunity," which was obviously exactly what was happening at this point in my life. I paid no attention to the fact that it was wise advice, and have since struggled with this issue ooooover and over again.


01. All I Need (Air) 02. At The Chime Of A City Clock (Nick Drake) 03. Tender (Blur) 04. Sail Away (David Gray) 05. Digital Bath (Deftones) 06. We Haven't Turned Around (Gomez) 07. Come Down Slowly (James William Hindle) 08. Mary Jane's Last Dance (Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers) 09. I Need You (Lynyrd Skynyrd) 10. Coffee and Cigarettes (Michelle Featherstone) (funny to me because now I HATE this song) 11. Pink Bullets (The Shins) 12. Universal Blues (The Redwalls) 13. This Years Love (David Gray) 14. Poor Man's Shangri-La (Ry Cooder) 15. Three Hours (Nick Drake) 16. Backwater (Meat Puppets) 17. Sound Of The Bell (Veruca Salt) 18. Have It All (Jeremy Kay) 19. The Past and Pending (The Shins) 20. How The Story Goes (The Redwalls)

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Children and Hallucinogens

We spent the weekend in New York City