accidental flares of love burst through the atmosphere

Another human interest story



I love this Niagara Detroit giclee.

The music I listen to is different lately. I never got into punk and I always hated The Pretenders (maybe I just hated I'll Stand By You? The chord progressions in that song make me GAG), but I suddenly started listening to them and fell in love with this song, among others. I started listening to Butthole Surfers and a song called Lightsabre Cocksucking Blues by Fight Like Apes. I started listening the The Velvet Underground and Patti Smith and more Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds and I feel really grateful for music that isn't constantly about love and sunshine and rainbows because it's so much more interesting. Melodies are more complex, chords are more dissonant. I love that kinda stuff even when it has nothing to do with my mindset. I want to be impressed and wonder how they thought of such complex stuff in a song.

The concept of always being decently happy is fucking weird, you guys. Why shouldn't we want to feel everything that there is to feel? I might get pissed off or annoyed or sad, and I might be pretty hard to deal with when I am feeling those things, but let me be very clear: when I am happy I am GLOWING from it because I genuinely appreciate it. I am noticing the tiniest things and seeing everything with rose colored glasses and smiling to myself on the bus and feeling so much love while I watch a homeless man and an elderly man talk about philosophy and marbles and guitars (all in one conversation!) and I feel weightless. If you can feel that same sense of euphoria all the time, more power to you. I'm sincerely jealous. Buuuuut when I think about the people that are "happy all the time" as they put it, they usually just seem boring and desensitized, and I don't believe them. Boring isn't happy. Boring is boring.

I will always want to be fascinated, no matter how emotional I have to get and how hard I have to work to experience it.

I think I've finally met my quarter-life crisis? Haha except within me it has become something resembling a personal renaissance. Feels just fine, I must say.

Oooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, give me your opinions because I'm sure everyone has some.

LA The Weird Way: Chapter 1

Interior Design Wannabe: Chapter 02