accidental flares of love burst through the atmosphere

Porn and Hysterics

Earlier this year, I stumbled upon what might be one of my favorite Internet Things ever: Hysterical Literature. A series of women (At first I thought they were women picked off of the street. Turns out they're porn stars. Who cares? Still great. Although Margaret Cho did one last month too and it's hilarious and amazing!) reading their favorite books to a video camera while someone under the table with a vibrator tries to get them off. The only thing the viewer sees is a black and white video of a woman sitting at a table with a book, reading until she just can't read no mo' and erupts with a sometimes-quiet-and-sometimes-very-loud orgasm. My friends and I opened a good bottle of red wine and watched ALL of the videos in one sitting. We were so into the idea that a few of us figured out who we could recruit to do that to us, just as....an experiment, you knowww. We asked him and he quickly agreed (because what fool wouldn't? It's for the sake of science) and the whole thing was amusing, even though we never went through with it. I even recruited a fallback, but it was my ex-boyfriend so that obviously doesn't count, and that one didn't happen, either. My favorite kind of people are those that do interesting things and are able to honestly and intelligently share their perspective so that it resonates, whether that's through writing or photography or song or whatever else. Good for THEM. Good for Clayton Cubitt for doing this project, and good for the women that participated.

(I'm sorry, I need to take myself out of the zone for one second to note that I am in my apartment, off of Wilshire Blvd which is one of the biggest streets in LA, it's 12:48pm, and I just heard a rooster crow off in the distance.)

One of the women - Stoya (that links to her tumblr, which is only a little bit NSFW), pictured below, who was my favorite of the series, also writes for Vice. You can watch her video here.

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I'm comfortable with sexual attention and sex in general (except the men on the street thing. That is just...not OK.). I often feel like we get offended over things that aren't actually offensive or meant for us at all. Sometimes I feel like an offender and sometimes I feel like the offended, but I always feel like women aren't getting the respect that they deserve.

My point is that I love people like Stoya. She placed herself right in the middle of the most sexual industry there is and demands that everyone remember that she has a brain. There's really something to be said about people that can be both honest and vulnerable without being seen as crazy or weak. She's a great communicator, and goodd ddaaaamn the world is in dire need of more of those.

I'm still in the process of finding my voice, both with blogging and with art, but so far the compliment that I seem to get most often is that I'm honest and my blog is refreshing. What a great fucking compliment, seriously. I can't think of anything that I'd rather hear. I don't see much reason in concealing what I feel, so I'm gonna try to keep the honesty coming. I'm inspired by a very small number of people in this world, which is something that I've mentioned before, but I think I'm going to add Stoya to that list.

If I ever have a daughter, I want her to know that she can do whatever she wants as long as she does it honestly and intelligently. I want her to know that there is a balance of being respected and being kind, and she should give and receive that balance. My parents always made me feel that way, and I feel very lucky because of it. So many people I know are in boxes that society created for them and they don't know how to escape. I feel very free.

If you're looking for 2 really good reasons to smile about art with regards to women: one and two.

I have more to say, but I have to go watch every single episode of Breaking Bad. I just watched the pilot last night. Only 5 years late! I also have a lot of leftover vanilla ice cream, which I am obviously going to pour bourbon over and enjoy with chocolate sprinkles OK GREAT SEE YOU LATER

Casey Jones you better watch your speed

Melatonin-fueled white girl problems